The new story, which is also the old story, is that I have received immense blessings. Even if I feel confused or stymied or unhappy in a moment, the blessings of a lifetime endure.
Janice is fond of saying “Go smaller to go bigger.” That resonates particularly when thinking of a next step. My fantasies race beyond me to huge galaxies of thought and ideas, enormous schemes and plans.
But then I am exhausted and feel tiny, not enough. So I can focus on the small, right where I am. I can focus within, giving thanks, listening, welcoming the stooped, humpbacked widow in gray winter coat.
When I allow the rest to fall away, there is no pressure, there is no need to know the future. Just welcome whatever comes. I suddenly had an image of that stooped, humpbacked widow throwing off her gray, winter coat, discarding her wig and fake humpback, turning into a good witch who flies away cackling but sprinkling fairy dust all over me. Mixed metaphors, but you can’t regulate visions.
Life is full of surprise, delight and miracles. You never know what will happen when you stay alive, alert, awake, enthusiastic.